


Why Can't We Be Happy

by JeanKirsteinsslut



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/F, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Other, anyway dont bully me, i hate this, the goal was to make people sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:23:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29683233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeanKirsteinsslut/pseuds/JeanKirsteinsslut
Summary: Basically Hange is pissed at the world and Pieck just wants to be happy
Relationships: Pieck Finger/Hange Zoë
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Why Can't We Be Happy

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I haven't written anything worth reading in over a year and it was never fanfiction or a one-shot so everyone enjoy my first attempt. This was mainly written because I promised my friend I would write a Hange/Pieck fic and I wanted to hurt them. Anyway, feel free to not bully me in the comments because I will cry.

Stepping into the lab these days was always disappointing for Pieck, she would stand in the doorway and take in the person she loved. Across the room Hange would barely acknowledge her existence, head buried deep in journals, scrawling notes and equations, reading back on the experiments done on Eren in the beginning, looking for an answer that was unlikely found.   
Pieck cleared her throat expecting the noise to bring Hange out of their frantic equation-filled revery. It didn’t their faced remained buried in two separate journals, one in each hand. She cleared her throat again.  
“Are you ever going to join me and Levi for dinner? Or is it going to be another night of me sitting there in silence opposite your best friend who remains quiet and brooding?” Pieck asked, a hesitant look on her face.

“Can’t busy,” Hange absentmindedly muttered, still emersed in the two journals not even bothering to look at Pieck. Grabbing another journal from the pile in front she began scribbling notes still avoiding looking directly at Pieck.

“So I guess I’m dating Levi now since every meal I have is with him,” snorting in amusement she moved toward Hange’s desk, perching herself against it and looking down as they continued their messy scrawled notes.

Hange looked up for the first time meeting her gaze, a smirk pulling at their lips, “Levi really? I always thought he was too short for you? And I don’t exactly think brooding does it for you?”. Pieck smiled back at the grin plastered on their face.

Humming to herself softly, “Well you are right about the height, but the person I am dating is awfully fond of brooding lately. They also enjoy locking themselves up in a lab and not eating or showering for days on end,” Hange grimaced unable to meet Piecks eyes. “Oh and they also enjoy avoiding me any chance they get. So I really hit the jackpot with them,” it was said so sarcastically Pieck knew she was about to cause the same argument they’ve been having for months.

Looking back up Hange clenched their jaw, “you don’t get to that,” they spat back at Pieck. “You don’t get to be mad at me for trying to save you”.

“Save me,” Pieck laughed out, getting up and pacing in front of Hanges desk. “You don’t have to kill yourself while trying to 'save me’,” saying the last two words with pure disdain. “Did you ever fucking think I don’t need to be saved? No you didn’t you just locked yourself up down here with journals and a half-baked notion that I need you to fucking recuse me,” she was seething with rage still pacing back and forth.

Sighing Hange leaned back in their chair, watching the frustrated shifter in front of them as she continued pacing out her anger. “You look at us and you act like we’re not living on borrowed time,” they breathed out anger slowly building. “Thirteen years,” they snapped “Thirteen fucking years that’s what you were given and you fucking spent almost 12 of them in that stupid fucking titan form carrying rocks around for that bastard Zeke”.

Pausing Pieck looked at Hange, “Can’t I just live out the rest of the time left out with you?” she questioned softly. Moving back over to the desk she kneeled in front of Hange grabbing both of their hands, looking at them with pleading eyes, “I don’t care how I lived out those 12 years because I didn’t have you back then, but now why can’t I just be happy? With you I have everything I could ever need to be happy, why can’t we just be happy now?,” she swallowed the lump in the back of her throat still staring at Hange with those big pleading eyes.

“Why can’t we be happy? Oh I don’t know Pieck maybe we can’t be happy because you’re fucking dying,” Hange gritted out clenching her jaw.

Pieck gripped Hange’s hands tighter, ensuring they would keep their focus on her, “I’m not dying”.

Hange pulled out of her grasp and rested their head in their hands looking down at their shoes, “yes you are, and it's all down to titans and science the two things I thought I fucking understood,” they laughed bitterly looking back at Pieck “And now the things that used to give me a purpose are killing the only person that ever gave my life meaning”.

“Stop” Pieck breathed out.

Jumping out of the chair and taking the space previously occupied by Piecks pacing, Hange began striding back and forth. “Stop what? Thinking how I can’t save you, how I’m going to watch you die just like everyone else I’ve ever cared about, my own squad, Moblit, Erwin, fucking Sasha a girl I watched grow up, did you know I used to sneak her meat off Levi’s plate while she distracted him and then I had to watch her get buried and now I get to watch the person I love join them all in the fucking ground,” Hange’s face was flushed red in anger and her boots were scuffing off the floor as she continued her pacing.

“Don’t you think I know that?” Pieck choked out from her position on the floor, teary eyes glued to Hange, “Have you ever considered that I’ve thought about it? How much you’ve lost and how cruel it is that I let you love me when I’m just going to leave you anyway, but I still selfishly do it and I still selfishly crave being your obsession and I will beg and plead until you finally give in and let me live out the last of time here with the person I love”.

Stopping in their tracks Hange looked at Pieck, tilting her head to the side observing the shifters crying form on the floor in front of them. They let out an exasperated sigh “what if I don’t want that? What if I don’t want to sit around and wait for you to die?”.

Bringing her knees under her chin and hugging them, “we could be happy,” Pieck sobbed out.

Hange kneeled in front of her, “not when there’s a clock ticking on that happiness,” they sighed.

Moving forward Pieck kissed them and it was reluctantly returned, “Baby,” she breathed out resting her forehead against Hange’s, “there’s nothing else we can do, why can’t we just spend the rest of our time in some rickety old cottage with a barn that you some how manage to turn into a lab, we can blow up things and spend the nights out under the stars and you can spout your theories about what each star means, we’d be happy, please let us be happy”.

“You don’t understand,” Hange leaned backwards meeting Pieck’s red puffy eyes with her own bloodshot one, “everyone I’ve ever loved has either died for me or because of me” the choked down a sob, “please just let me save you I need you please”. They were begging, tears streaming down their face staring deeply into Pieck’s eyes.

“I don’t think you can”.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading it was probably bad so rip *throws peace signs and jumps out window*


End file.
